Monday, April 20, 2009

Patience is turning me into a mental patient!

If patience is a virtue, then I am most definitely NOT a virtuous woman!

Patience is a very hard thing for me. I tend to want things and answers now and not a minute later than instantly. But this is not always the way it works. Matter of fact, as I’m coming to find out, it rarely works this way. I guess God keeps giving me those lessons on patience hoping that one day I will learn its virtues.

Apparently I’m a slow learner because they keep coming at regular intervals and with increasing frequency. Like the other day, the sun had finally made an appearance after hiding for the better part of the fall and winter. The temperatures were up and so I thought a nice walk would be in order. I grabbed my walking shoes and a water bottle and headed off.

I forgot one small detail though; one shouldn’t take a blood pressure pill with a diuretic right before heading out where bathrooms are few and far between. I hadn’t been gone long when my fast pace and pumping heart kicked that medication into overdrive and sent me frantically looking for a public restroom along the route.

I whizzed (no pun intended) down the hill to a local gas station where I knew there were clean restrooms. Just as I reached for the door, a sweet older lady smiled at me and then slipped in and locked the door after sweetly telling me, “I’ll only be a minute”.

I stood there with my mouth gaping and my legs crossed. I didn’t dare move for fear that any mild movement would certainly turn me into a leaky faucet. I stood immobilized praying that she would finish up her business and get the heck outta Dodge so the new sheriff could claim her potty in peace and overwhelming relief.

I think she must’ve taken a bath in the bowl.

I must admit however, that old people have a way of really putting things into perspective. When she finally did emerge, she smiled again – a bit broader as she watched me inch into the restroom with crossed legs – and gave me a bit of old- timer’s wisdom. This nugget has become today’s “Life Saver”;

“How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on. Praise be to the Good Lord who allowed me enough agility to beat you to the bathroom door. The old plumbing ain’t what it used to be and they would’ve needed a mop and a ten gallon bucket if I’d been the one waiting out here. ‘

Easy for her to say. Her minute was filled with the relief of dry Depends and a happy bladder. I looked back over my shoulder at her as she headed out to her car with a slightly more jovial step in her jaunt. I smiled.

It was nice to know that even when age does get the best of you, patience still isn’t a virtue but you can somehow manage to deal with the infirmity with a quick wit and a smile that makes others glad they had the ability to wait.

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